Thursday, December 07, 2006

Morning of mayhem

So, the fridge-that-time-forgot was being replaced today, which coincided with 4 cable guys arriving to do something or other. Landlord was standing in my bath fixing the shower when Landlady exploded into the apartment very upset (I just leave the door open on days like this). German Porn Man and his wife (who knew!) had shouted at her and had threatened to phone their lawyer about the cable folk.

So I got her some lemon juice (which helps some medical condition that I haven't translated yet) and sat her down. A long spiel ensued, during which we got to hear tonnes of gossip about GPM: he can't go back to Germany 'for some reason'; he was about to be deported when he married a Madeiran to stay in the country; he poisoned the little dog across the road because it barked; he poisoned the water tank on the roof and three sets of neighbours moved out; he put a burning something-or-other under someone's door when they were having a party and literally smoked them out... And this week, he scratched the full length of someone's nice gold mercedes because he didn't like where she parked.

Just plain nuts.

Mom and I were enthralled (I'm in the building next door, and so am not on GPM's Kill list yet). There was such commotion, Mrs Codebreaker came in to see if I was okay, and she added more key details. I've asked her to use her Bletchley Park contacts to find out more about his shady past.

As soon as the shower was fixed we fled for beer. We were puzzling over a cryptic crossword clue when Mr Codebreaker wandered by and solved it in 0.15 seconds.

And so order came to be restored to the world :)

3 comments:

Shona said...

At last, the lovely Pauline in front of the camera. Hi Pauline, come hom soon, we miss you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Shona! Hope your trip went wonderfully ecstatically greatly!

As you probably know, I'm here annoying Orlaith but we're enjoying ourselves. Weather fab here - been trying not to smile listening to the awful weather forecasts on Ryan Tubridy.

Hope you've all your pressies bought, like me, for the forthcoming event. I know you like things done early ha ha. See you soon. Love, Pauline x

Shona said...

Well with Sean planning and organising everthing how could it be anything but perfect!!

Carried out my first christmas purchase today....2 booklets of christmas stamps. Cards first, presents then.